Somehow not in the depths of despair
Aug. 28th, 2018 08:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
acanthusleafSo yeah, Pennsic sucked money-wise, and like so many arteests I have my self-worth tied up in what people will pay me for my art. I'm bummed, but not haunted by the Black Dog. Not running KFUK in my head about how much I suck. What the heck, brain?
Oh yeah. It's summertime. With lots of beautiful sunlight. Also, I have a husband that pays most of the bills so I can fart about with my art. Part of me feels like a sellout, but I've never been so happy in a relationship. I have learned from the past, as has he, and we talk a lot about everything. Five years ago I would have been Freaking Right Out.
Srsly, though. I went to a seminar on selling for artists, and the first thing the guy recommended was that every artist should marry someone with a good head for business. I thought that was wrong and unfair as a single person, and I still do. I have this guilt at suddenly being loved and supported in every way. It's not even about deserving it. It's just luck.
So I've started C25K again. Couch to 5k, a running program to get you started. Greg and I have signed up for the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning. Last time I tried this, I got three weeks into the training and my ankle started killing me. I'm taking it slow and easy, stretching, etc. The time before that, I got shin pains, and I think I have that dealt with. I flex my feet a lot because my calves are tight, which exercises the shin muscles that can hurt you if they are not in shape. I freak out at the idea of putting that out on FB, because I am pretty sure I win't be able to run the entire way, and even though my friend group is pretty supportive I would be mortified at having to admit that I failed. Public accountability is for extroverts. I'll run and walk and whatever. I'll finish the Trot - I've done it twice before and not run the whole way, and it's for charity, blah blah. It's pretty cool even if you walk the whole way. Plenty of people do.
Purg was mellow, lovely drive, expensive restaurant food, and I didn't have to set up a tent. I think that Chris and Maurya are going to do very well. They genuinely care and it shows. Uther created another award for people who already have all the awards. How about a new award for people who are not going to ever be royalty or maybe even peers? I think that some of the royals who have been up there a lot lose sight of the fact that the vast majority of us will never get to sit a throne. A large majority in fact have never fought or been fought for in Crown or Coronet Tourney, the central activity of five huge events per year in the West. In my day, we had way fewer awards, dammit. :-)
I'm looking forward to a long weekend of getting stuff done around the house and going to mundane parties. Greg's going to brew. I'm probably going to sew. We are both going to read books. Maybe I'll put more of the thoughts in my head down into pixels.
Oh yeah. It's summertime. With lots of beautiful sunlight. Also, I have a husband that pays most of the bills so I can fart about with my art. Part of me feels like a sellout, but I've never been so happy in a relationship. I have learned from the past, as has he, and we talk a lot about everything. Five years ago I would have been Freaking Right Out.
Srsly, though. I went to a seminar on selling for artists, and the first thing the guy recommended was that every artist should marry someone with a good head for business. I thought that was wrong and unfair as a single person, and I still do. I have this guilt at suddenly being loved and supported in every way. It's not even about deserving it. It's just luck.
So I've started C25K again. Couch to 5k, a running program to get you started. Greg and I have signed up for the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning. Last time I tried this, I got three weeks into the training and my ankle started killing me. I'm taking it slow and easy, stretching, etc. The time before that, I got shin pains, and I think I have that dealt with. I flex my feet a lot because my calves are tight, which exercises the shin muscles that can hurt you if they are not in shape. I freak out at the idea of putting that out on FB, because I am pretty sure I win't be able to run the entire way, and even though my friend group is pretty supportive I would be mortified at having to admit that I failed. Public accountability is for extroverts. I'll run and walk and whatever. I'll finish the Trot - I've done it twice before and not run the whole way, and it's for charity, blah blah. It's pretty cool even if you walk the whole way. Plenty of people do.
Purg was mellow, lovely drive, expensive restaurant food, and I didn't have to set up a tent. I think that Chris and Maurya are going to do very well. They genuinely care and it shows. Uther created another award for people who already have all the awards. How about a new award for people who are not going to ever be royalty or maybe even peers? I think that some of the royals who have been up there a lot lose sight of the fact that the vast majority of us will never get to sit a throne. A large majority in fact have never fought or been fought for in Crown or Coronet Tourney, the central activity of five huge events per year in the West. In my day, we had way fewer awards, dammit. :-)
I'm looking forward to a long weekend of getting stuff done around the house and going to mundane parties. Greg's going to brew. I'm probably going to sew. We are both going to read books. Maybe I'll put more of the thoughts in my head down into pixels.
no subject
Date: 2018-08-29 03:25 pm (UTC)I really enjoy your take on the awards thing and reigning thing. There should be term limits ;)
IDK if you're on the Kermisse list, but I did ask Greg to brew for it. It'll be at Crown, but it'll be a non fighty semi private party. :) Of course, I expect everyone will be busy with the fighting anyway